pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods, for nothing now will come to any good.

alas, as you know, lost was not on this week. WHY is a question we all inevitably ask in this situation.

i posit these answers:

— smoke monster threatening to break contract

— dharma initiative bringing defamation suit

— eyeliner shipment has not arrived in time for finale taping

 

actual answer (probably): although we were promised 16 uniterrupted weeks of lost, you know that a big network like abc can’t resist delaying until MAYSWEEPSWEEKWOOOT (the spring break of television shows, whereby writers under the influnce of ratings pressure and other such hallucinogens, allow characters to do things they normally wouldn’t do, like kill someone, die unexpedtedly, etc). rumor has it that this will not be the only break; we may expect to see one after episode 12, “dead is dead.”

but, because you were so patient, here are two treats.

1. episode title list of episodes 9-14. some of these are rather dubious, (see 13), but, what can you do? also included are my equally-dubious conjectures for what we will discover in each.

  • 5×9 – Namaste — dr. marvin candle. naked. or just in the episode. making some homemade videos. about the dharma initiative.
  • 5×10 – He’s Our You — an episode about the others? “he’s our you” reminds me of the whole “are you him?” thing. maybe a “who’s the leader” type ep? also could be something about someone seeing a different version of themselves from another time.
  • 5×11 – What Happened, Happened — Daniel has to face his future as the guy who prompted Charlotte to return to the Island. Or some sort of proof that the lost-ies always went back in time to be Dharma in the 70s.
  • 5×12 – Dead is Dead — John Locke? Only an ethereal being? Drop Dead Fred guest appearance?
  • 5×13 – Some Like it Hoth — obv Darlton came up with this. The Island becomes a frozen tundra. Or was, in the past, hence the FROZEN donkey wheel. Hoth was always one of my favorite scenes in Star Wars.
  • 5×14 – The Variable — who changed things? Ben? Is Ben the variable? If Desmond is the CONSTANT, who is the VARIABLE? Maybe Des becomes the variable? WHO IS CONSTANTLY CHANGING?
  • 2. embedded clip to help you through your week-without-lost grief.

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    2 Responses to “pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods, for nothing now will come to any good.”

    1. nachopatrol Says:

      Hoth? Like from Star Wars? OMFG YES!

    2. Love the Drop Dead Fred reference. I must’ve rented that movie 20 times when I was a kid. No one ever remembers it but me!

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